When someone mistreats me, I get mad, naturally. The important decision comes later. I can choose to relive that wrong in my mind, and until I forgive the other person, that’s what I tend to do whenever I have to deal with him again. My anger comes back and I am likely to say or do something that makes the situation worse. Anger and hate get us stuck in the past. When I forgive the other person, I free my mind of the anger and that frees my mind to find ways to make things better for the future.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean that I forget what has happened or that I have to trust the wrongdoer. I don’t even have to understand why he treated me that way. I only need to recognize that the bad behavior was a human shortcoming and that I can’t change the past. I don’t really care if I am helping the other person by forgiving him. I forgive so that I can have a happier future.