A thought I hope our politicians keep in mind:
“I’ll bet you a nickel that if you give me a dime, I’ll give you a quarter.” Most people are willing to take me up on this bet, figuring that I’ll end up with fifteen cents in exchange for the quarter. But, as soon as I get the dime, I say, “Congratulations. You won the bet,” and hand over a nickel.
We often get so focused on wanting to be declared the “winner” that we don’t really consider what is being won, and what is being lost. When a discussion turns into an argument, I tend to focus my thoughts on making the other person lose. I don’t listen for the good parts of the other person’s viewpoint and try to use them to improve my own idea.
What do I gain when I when an argument with a friend? Does it improve our friendship? Do I leave knowing more than I did before the argument started?