Laughter is a powerful shrinking agent.  When a problem appears to be too big, joking about the situation makes the problem seem smaller.  When people are uptight, finding something silly to laugh about reduces the tension.  Unfortunately, laughing at a person (or group of people) also makes him look smaller. That not only hurts the person who is belittled, it poisons the atmosphere for everyone within hearing range.

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 (tandem cable railway - Zagreb)

As soon as I figured out the wording for this thought, I had an afterthought: “What happens when the other person gets off?” – Crash landing.

We all seem to recognize that “put downs” and “zingers” are hurtful, but they remain all too common in our conversations and jokes.  There is no doubt that television and movies play a role in making cheap-shot humor seem acceptable.  But, then again, slavery used to seem acceptable in our country.  That ...

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A really powerful person has no need to act like a bully.  A person who is confident in his/her strength will be in control of the situation enough to act gently.  That gentleness invites cooperation.

Bullying behavior is a sign of insecurity; it makes it look like the person is trying to make it look like he is stronger than he feels.  Also, the use of brute force invites resistance and thoughts of revenge.

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Whenever we are pretending to be somebody we’re not, we are acting out a lie.  That invariably creates stress.  The internal fear of being found out will drive us toward protecting our image, instead of enjoying our company.  Putting on a false front will either turn us into bullies, or make us easy targets for other bullies.

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When I talk to a class and all the students listen without saying anything, I figure that they are agreeing with me.  When someone makes racist or other bigoted comments in my presence and I say nothing, he is going to assume that I agree with those opinions, or at least that I don’t mind them.  The Nazis were never the majority, but the silence of so many of their neighbors allowed them to think and act as though they were.

The most effective way to reduce bullying behavior is for bysta...

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This seemed particularly appropriate in this time of political campaigns.
  The old castle was designed to ward off attacks.  The picnic area is designed to let people come together and enjoy the site.

My opinions are often different than those of other people but our emotional reactions are similar.  So when I want others to go along with my ideas, I ought to think about what approaches work with me, and about what words make me resist changing or agreeing with them.

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