Often the first question that is asked when something goes wrong is, “Whose fault was it?”  That might be appropriate when searching for a murderer or other criminal, but most of the problems in business and our daily lives are not caused by intentional acts.  If our response is focused on blaming the person who made the mistake we will not gain an understanding of WHY the mistake occurred and what can be done to keep it from happening again.
    
    The temptation to blame is especially s...

Think of anger as a smoke detector going off.  It is an irritating signal that something as gone wrong.  I want to have a smoke detector to prevent me from sleeping through real dangers.  My smoke detector is pretty sensitive; sometimes it goes off when there is no real danger – just a side effect of something I’m cooking or starting a fire in the fireplace.  Even when I know th...

Friendship is both important and complex.  It can bring pleasure to almost any activity.  One crucial factor is trust.  Getting buried in the sand is fun only if you trust your friend and your friend proves trustworthy.

When I have something to say, that thought becomes the center of my attention, making it extremely hard for me to really listen to what someone else is saying.  Really listening requires that I make the other person’s ideas the center of my attention – that is the only way I have a chance of making the best part of his knowledge become part of my own mental map of the universe.  My own idea is already in my head, so I can come back to it later – though writing a quick note to myself m...

      Frank Sinatra sang “My Way”.  It is a sad song that starts mentioning regrets and ends with a defiant boast that at least “I did it my way.”  I wonder how many of the regrets were the direct result of insisting on doing things “my way.” 

      It should be obvious that each of us is living with a finite brain in a world of infinite possibilities.  It is foolish to think that I have all the answers, or even the best answer, for all the situations I will en...