Think of anger as a smoke detector going off.  It is an irritating signal that something as gone wrong.  I want to have a smoke detector to prevent me from sleeping through real dangers.  My smoke detector is pretty sensitive; sometimes it goes off when there is no real danger – just a side effect of something I’m cooking or starting a fire in the fireplace.  Even when I know that it is a false alarm, ignoring the alarm doesn’t work.  The noise makes me more irritated the longer I let it go on.  On the other hand, if I turn on a fan and open a window to ventilate the room, everything returns to normal in just a moment.

The same principle helps me deal with the little nuisances of daily life.  If I try to kid myself that nothing bothers me, the irritations build up and later in the day my anger will slip out in an inappropriate way.  Yet if I take a moment to vent my feelings to a friend, the pressure is relieved and I can go forward in a happy mood.